Coaching Biz Tips

Who Moved My Mantra?!

Years ago, when my (now ex-) husband and I were first-time home owner "wannabees", we stumbled across what looked like the perfect house. It had everything we wanted, and more -- three bedrooms, two full baths, an updated kitchen, new carpet, a family room, etc. It even had a basketball court in the back yard. Taylor (our son) was only about 3 years old at the time, but I'm sure his father had fantasies of teaching him the finer points of shooting hoops.

As soon as we found it, I was ready to stop looking any further. That house was IT for me.

We had our agent put an offer in right away. We were so excited to think we'd soon have the house of our dreams!

…And then we found out that ours was not the only offer.

If you've ever bought a house, you know how agonizing the waiting is, especially when there are multiple offers. You know you shouldn't count your chickens before they're hatched, but you can't help feeling intensely attached to the outcome...

A curious thing happened at that point. I kept hearing the same song over and over on the radio and in my head. It was a song by EnVogue, with an unfortunately REALLY catchy chorus:

Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it (whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa)
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never get it

I'll tell you one thing: I was pretty darn sure I was never gonna get that stupid song out of my head. It was the suckiest mantra EVER.

And, you guessed it, the home owners accepted the other offer. However, we did end up with a lovely house that we liked a lot, so it all turned out okay in the end.

Now, I can't say for sure that the suckiest mantra in the Universe was the reason we didn't get the first house; but the words I was repeating to myself DID affect the quality of my life at the time. And the more I tried NOT to think of the song, the more I couldn’t NOT think of it.

As they say on Star Trek, “Resistance is futile.”

These days, when I catch myself starting down the Never Gonna Get It path, I simply say "Cancel that" and affirm something more aligned with what I want to create. (Sometimes you have to keep saying “Cancel that” A LOT.)

I often make up specific little mantras for different things, but my "umbrella" mantra this year is "I am expressing, experiencing and enjoying more abundance, success and love, every day in every way."

What's YOUR mantra?

What are you waiting for?

I’ve been noticing lately how often people get caught up in the argument “I can’t be/do/have __________ until ____________ happens.”

• I can’t tell people about my business until my website is up.
• I can’t relax and enjoy the summer until after my daughter’s wedding.
• I don’t have time to focus on marketing until business slows down a bit.

And it seems like this argument can quickly turn into an endless loop; for example:

• I can’t let go of my old <job/relationship/whatever> until I find a new one.
• I can’t get a new <job/relationship/whatever> until I let go of the old one.

This kind of loopy thinking keeps you feeling stuck and frustrated. And if you examine what you’re saying to yourself more closely, you’ll usually find that it’s not even true!

• It’s possible to tell people about your business (and even get a few clients) even before your website is up. (People DID have customers back in the old days, before the Internet thingy caught on.)
• It’s possible to relax and enjoy the summer before, during AND after your daughter’s wedding.
• It’s possible that you can be busy with clients AND still find time for marketing (AND enjoy the summer, too!).

If you want to unleash your true potential, let go of conditional thinking. YOU’RE the one placing conditions upon your own success, and you may not even realize you’re doing it. Believing that you “can’t until ______” only slows you down and makes you feel resigned to the status quo.

So here's a question to keep you up at night:

“What are YOU waiting for?”