At the start of each coaching session, I always check in with my client on the status of their action items from the last session – "Did you follow through on your action plan?" If my client checked off all their items, we celebrate and move on to the next phase of their plan. And if they didn't, we take a look at what they did instead of the intended actions. Often, how a client deals with the unexpected (or the unconscious) reveals fertile ground for coaching.
I once had a client who had this great big, wonderful, juicy vision for his business. He'd thought through the steps he needed to take to reach his goals. Each week, he ended the coaching session feeling excited about moving forward.
But over time, I noticed that he often didn't follow through. So I called him on it.
I listened as he recounted the various things that had happened that week – other things had popped up, gotten in the way, used up all his time and energy. He admitted that he felt frustrated and guilty about not doing what he'd said he wanted to do… again.
And then something prompted me to ask him, "What's really keeping you from doing what you know you need to do?"
He started to explain again about what happened that week. I said, "What if it's NOT about the circumstances? What if what's going on "outside" is NOT what's really keeping you from doing what you need to do?"
He thought for a moment, and said, "Well, I just didn't have enough time to get to those things."
I've learned that when a client says they don't have enough time, what they really mean is there's a breakdown in the way they've prioritized their time. So I said, "Let's imagine that you had plenty of time – what else might have kept you from doing what you know you need to do?"
We spent some time getting up underneath what was REALLY keeping him from doing what he needed to do, and without revealing any client secrets, I can tell you that it turned out to be something to do with his mindset – an unexamined, limiting belief. And when he really looked at it, he was finally able to shift how he was being about doing what he knew he needed to do.
And then it seemed like he was carving up his action list like a hot knife through butter. "Things" didn't get any easier – HE became easier WITH them. And he got a lot more done as a result.
Here's what I'm wondering today:
What's really keeping you from doing what you know you need to do? Have you been blaming the circumstances, or claiming that there's not enough time? Is it possible that your own mindset is keeping you from being more successful?
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